Excitement, loud voices, and laughter filled the air one spring evening in 2005. End of the year parties were a big deal for fifth grade students.
As a non-helicopter, but interested, PTA mom, I stood to the side watching a group of boys surround a foosball table. Most played. A few watched. My son secured a favored place at the table.
Bam. Clunk. Thud. The ball popped from one end of the table to the other. Cheers of yes, whoa, and no, added to the enthusiasm.
During the game, I saw a hesitant, awkward boy edge toward the table.
One of the boys whispered to the others. “Don’t let Travis* play.”
A hush descended on the group as they gripped the handles tighter. Play continued as if nothing was said. I watched with sorrow as the shunned boy was crowded out. Bullies? I don’t think so. Insensitive, yes.
But the tide soon changed.
My son shouted from the foosball table. “Travis, do you want to take my spot?”
My horror grew into delight as I watched David give up his spot for the boy. Travis smiled at the act of kindness.
Later, I told David that I was so proud of him for sticking up for Travis, for being a friend. He shrugged his shoulders and said he was tired of playing anyway. But his expression betrayed his words. David’s compassion for others won out over his desire to play, to be popular.
As years have gone by, I’ve watched him graduate from high school, college, and receive two master’s degrees; I’ve watched him honored with certificates, trophies, and plaques. But none of those compare to what I saw that evening in 2005. I saw character.
What is character? Can you define it? Do you know someone who demonstrates it? I’m sure most everyone has had their moment. But do you know someone who consistently models it? What is different about them? Is character a discipline? Is it learned? Is it something more?
As we live, do we celebrate character over winning a game? Do we follow through when we commit? Do we consider the feelings of others? Do we teach kids and grandkids to take time for small things like answering a text or phone call, remembering to say thank you, allowing the conversation to elevate others instead of ourselves, to warmly greet our guests, to let someone in line ahead of us, and to remember a promise is a promise?
The fruit of the Spirit encapsulates everything necessary for good character: love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Gal. 5:22-23 NIV). This fruit is freely given from the One who created us, for all who believe.
Fruit that produces character has influence. Foosball games and popularity are short lived but character impacts lives forever.
*The name was changed to protect his identity.
I so get this. I wrote about a girl in my high school who was the female version of Travis. I felt so sorry for her. Her senior year she made some progress with her peers when she was cast in our senior play and performed the rest of the cast under the table. At our ten-year reunion, she showed up and turned every head all with mouths agape. She was stunning. I wasn't as brave as David when I saw her being left out of things. I regret that. But I will say in my defense that I made an effort to always treat her with kindness. Between David and me...David is the better kid.